Death, for children :(

[librarygeek]

The father of one of my daughter's friends just died. Yes, I told her, she has been to probably one or two funerals a year since she was 2. Both my daughter and her male best friend are 9 years old.

We adults were drinking together on Halloween after the trick-or-treating was finished and the kids were enjoying the candy haul and playing. My daughter was crying, not for the dad that died, but for her friend who doesn't have a dad now. This, I DON'T have sufficient vocabulary to express myself at the moment. I have to take care of my daughter, because she will want to take care of her friend. I'm going to try to help the mom.

This hurts for everyone. I just needed to say this, somewhere. :-(

Comments

Sharing grief

[dialecticdreamer]

Just by working with your daughter, you're helping to share the grief, and the work of getting through it. The mom can use any minute that isn't subsumed by grieving-- sometimes just a friendly hello can make all the difference.

Take care of yourself, too.

Re: Sharing grief

[librarygeek]

Found out at the funeral that the mom HAS NEVER been to a funeral before. :-O.

I told her "Anything. You want me to come and drink with you, I'll bring something tasty. You want me to bring a paint gun and a target, fine. I've seen all the reactions and you will NOT surprise, shock, or scare me."

She's Armenian. Anybody have any information on their mourning customs? I know her husband would basically say not to get his wife started on Armenia, so it's something she hasn't had recognized in her married life of almost 20 years. He was a sweetheart, just had enough of the topic was what I could see.

Extant of my knowledge right now: where to find Armenia on a map, "starving Armenians", and 4 quarters of Jerusalem's Old City, Jewish, Christian, Moslem, and Armenian. (Climbing up a ladder, diving off the high dive into the deep end of the Internet for pearls on Armenia)