librarygeek: cute cartoon fox with nose in book (Default)
Am I the only one who remembers this?

Or this?

Yes, he was brilliant, was against Trump, and for the European Union. But my first reaction to his death was NOW his family and even ex-wives are free.

ECR for me: I'm stuck watching everyone I thought I liked mourning him, while trying desperately to follow the Jewish tradition of not speaking ill of the dead, and still having Shakespeare's eulogy for Caesar on repeat in my brain. "The evil that men do lives after them, the good is oft interred with their bones; so let it be with" Hawking!
librarygeek: cute cartoon fox with nose in book (Default)
It's Fishbowl today!

Here's my prompts:

brother, the one with the stag form?

More on the wolf pack dynamics, and can they remain friends with the one who wants werecat form?

Victor and the priest. That's family and clergy together.

The ship who's been adopted by the young human, and that human?
librarygeek: cute cartoon fox with nose in book (Default)
I'm healing fantastically well from the cardiac surgery on August 11. I'm OFF the serious pain meds and can get myself in and out of bed. Walking, walking, walking is my expected exercise, with the caveat about resting when I am tired. I have a few other easy exercises for vestibular balance work. NEXT lovely milestone will be getting off the diuretic. :-D Sternum restrictions are still pretty serious for months though.

The home health nurse carefully asked how I felt about the temporarily being dead part of surgery, with an anecdote about her uncle, and I cheerfully replied that I sat down with the Archangel Uriel, had tea, then told to go back and finish my work. She was wearing a visible cross, and couldn't argue with the trial of faith implications, even for me a Jew. :-p I'm not upset. It was necessary, so it was done. Selah.

The birthday eclipse was great to see even in a range of partiality with a quick homemade pinhole setup.

I'm home, with my dog, child, and husband, all with different nursing skills and can EAT the food I know is safe for me. Hurrah for current amazing medical treatment! :-D
librarygeek: cute cartoon fox with nose in book (Default)
Ok, I was mixed up, tomorrow is an office consult with the surgeon, NOT the surgery. I'm just tired of more office visits, when the last 2 have both said this surgery is what I need, now. I'm not always understanding what's being said to me right now. Husband will take me into the next appointment at Temple. I will update when I know more, again!

I hate waiting.
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[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith is running her monthly poetry fishbowl event at As she says:

the Poetry Fishbowl is open! Today's theme is "rites / rights of passage." I will be checking this page periodically throughout the day. When people make suggestions, I'll pick some and weave them together into a poem ... and then another ... and so on. I'm hoping to get a lot of ideas and a lot of poems.

I'll be soliciting ideas for adolescents, parents, heroes, villains, fools, clergy and other officiants, explorers, travelers, ordinary people, outcasts, facing thresholds, questioning, debating labels, traveling, accepting the call, refusing the call, getting lost, losing everything, hiding in the closet, coming out, finding your power, speaking truth to power, telling your own story, discovering new places, bedrooms, classrooms, counseling offices, churches, government buildings, the wilderness, cliffs, trails, self-discovery, self-awareness, birth, puberty, getting a job, marriage, sex, parenthood, death, rebirth, radical transformation, the hero's journey, birth control, reproductive freedom, alien transitions, self-sacrifice,
disruptions, adventures, legal rights, famous geographic passageways, and poetic forms in particular. But anything is welcome, really. to read the linkback poem "Rewriting the Narrative" (9 verses, standalone).

Go, feed the fishes, receive poetry.
librarygeek: cute cartoon fox with nose in book (Default)
I'm getting my cardiac surgery, Thursday, August 3, 1PM, at Temple University Hospital with THE local specialist in this type of surgery, Dr. Toyoda. I'm impressed.

If you're local, and actually want to visit, or want to send stuff to read or otherwise keep me busy, please message me here. I'm expected to be 4-6 days in the hospital, then 2-6 weeks recovery.

I'm discouraging my husband from much more than waiting during the surgery, in case they need to consult with my medical next of kin and power of attorney. We have a 12 year old child, and a needy rescue Pibble dog who will probably be panicking that I'm not home. Having the Big Guy with her is probably the only way she will go for walks and not anxious reactive attack all our neighbors. :-/ Won't listen to the "puppy", child she's also protecting that well.
librarygeek: cute cartoon fox with nose in book (Default)
Had my trans esophageal echo done last Friday.

Had catheterization plus (Latin for fancy camera work on valves) today.

Have NOW medically acceptable documentation for heart condition performing worse under even chemically induced exertion.

Hopefully NOW I can get my expected surgery for this damn sub aortic stenosis, membrane type.

Aggravating factors: I specifically said that I was both pain sensitive AND wanted to know any restrictions while healing. They didn't mention until AFTERWARDS the 24 hour splint on my right wrist to prevent dislodging the clot from the catheter insertion.

Also, a first: I was bloody awake THE WHOLE TIME. Usually, sedation means I don't remember any of it. Gah, I expect nightmares about the catheter feel up my arm.

GOOD PART: Had a Lebanese doctor who happily chatted with me in French and Arabic, knowing I am Jewish, to the bemusement of the rest of the cath lab team.
librarygeek: cute cartoon fox with nose in book (Default)
Ysabet is running it here:

Encourage a bard to beat your own bullies into pells!

Suggested topics:

"Poke ALL the bigots in the eye." I'll be soliciting ideas for bigots, victims, upstanders, ordinary people, the women that men don't see, QUILTBAG folks, people of color, the misunderstood, outcasts, nemeses, bullies, abusers, oppressors, slavers, psycho bosses, troubled relationships, supervillains, superheroes, activists, poking a bigot in the eye, fleeing in terror, picking on people, resisting oppression, speaking truth to power, upsetting applecarts, facing your demons, feeding the right wolf, punching up, protesting, lunch counters, bars, reservations, slums, schools, playgrounds, counseling offices, government buildings, the Oval Office, dark alleys, oceans, liminal zones, mad science labs, The Tower, battlegrounds, graveyards, other places of power, internalized oppression, bigotry, racism, other isms that should be wasms, manifestos, identity literature, picket signs, disruptions, unusual vulnerabilities, minority languages, history written by the losers, radical transformation, the unspeakable, the inescapable, the indestructible, the nature of humanity (or lack thereof), hubris, and poetic forms in particular.
librarygeek: cute cartoon fox with nose in book (Default)
Ysabetwordsmith has the Poetry Fishbowl today here, so go and feed the fish!

My prompts:
1) From a friend of mine, that I already set on your works:

"Open call to the hive mind: please tell me about books that you have read and enjoyed by LGBTQIA+ authors, authors of color, and/or genderqueer/non-binary authors. The further an author can get from cis heterosexual white male, the better." A classic author appreciated by my Goth friend is Jane Austen.

So I will pass back ANYTHING that gets those characters too.

2) Ambrose now has a truth from Shiv, an epiphany, about WHY soup powers and supervillains exist. Have him go speak this truth to power, definitely punching up. ;-)

3) Facing your demons and cleaning up this mess

4) Small courage in Army of One, because the hardest thing after another meltdown sometimes is going BACK into a seemingly simple task, even if you have a plan. Make the plan work, please?

5) First responders, lovers, abuse survivors, and soup care - yes, all together...

librarygeek: cute cartoon fox with nose in book (Default)
Hiya! Go give a friend a prompt on the limits of villainy here:

This was my prompt:

The Midas baby, and his Guardian from Dr. Infanta. His Guardian is definitely a super villain with limits. How are they doing in the Islands? If they aren't yours, feel free to run with some of your characters meeting them, if you wish.

Sleepy from thyroid flare. Hey, super villain does minimal damage for goal just because she's too sleepy to do more.

Hopefully vague enough!
librarygeek: cute cartoon fox with nose in book (Default)
Yes, I'm taking one. As a further incentive to finish the coursework, I'm going to post each week's work here. You have been warned!

I Am a Writer

I find it hard to think of myself as a writer. I am an intelligent and hardworking student, but I have always had difficulties with writing, both the execution in handwriting and organization of my thoughts into a concise and understandable narrative. In elementary school, I had poor handwriting grades and difficulties with completing book reports. In freshman year of high school, I was diagnosed with dysgraphia, and permitted the use of a computer for many assignments. I still panicked about submitting my senior English paper on Tolkien and class issues shown in his writing, even though I wrote it on the computer and had my mother check it. I have had many distance learning and online college classes, but the effort of writing and organizing my thoughts is still a major issue for me. I had taken CLEP tests for most of my freshman requirements, but the university I am working on my Bachelor of Science in Information and Library Science does not accept the specific English and science tests I took. Now I’m trying to relearn my academic writing and discipline skills to take an acceptable test and pass. I have taken and passed with As my higher level English classes needed for my degree, but that was several years ago, before my chronic illnesses had some flares.

Since stopping working on my BS degree, my work writing had consisted of writing up presentations for the library board towards a social media presence and notes to be given towards those who have asked for my reference help at the library.

My child also switched to a public cyber charter school because of the financial and policy issues of our local school board and administration. As a parent and the home facilitator, I have had to fill out the applications for both the school, and the switch to the gifted program, notes to teachers, and reviewing and repeating the requirements on all papers and essays.

Answer: I admire your honesty and share your problems with thinking critically and creatively.  I am using this class to also leave my comfort zone and restart my academic skills. 

I am delighted that you won that essay contest and could find out how the USA differs from the TV and movie displays. I have worked at a public library in a diverse community which also has a HBC holding some classes within city limits. Homesickness is our word for that lonely feeling away from family, friends, and even your own country. I have some of it here, because I live in a different state now than the one where I was born, my parents and grandparents were raised, and the smell and sound of the ocean is too far way.

I loved traveling in Great Britain where I also enjoyed the ease of public transportation to get to all the sites I wanted to visit as a tourist, without having to rent a car.

What do I do to get ready to write?

I have some different quirks and rituals to get ready to write. To get ready to write, at the moment I go and check my child’s language arts classes for writing essay strategies that I can use. I know of my writing related learning differences and can utilize any that make sense to me. I mentioned CSQT as one strategy on a forum response to the “I am a writer” prompt. Now, I am using RAPS. First, restate the question. Second, answer the question. Third, prove your answer. Last, sum up your answer and its proof.

Also, being ready to write means for me to have another very different class or topic open at the same time as my incentive to work through my nervousness and hesitation about my writing abilities. This class time, I am also taking Fundamentals of Audio and Music Engineering, and I am alternating my video lectures for each class.

To sum up, I first find an appropriate writing strategy for a given assignment from my child’s lessons, because I need to have a plan to work on a pre-draft. Then, I already open my selected reward for working on a topic that makes me nervous. Then, I am ready to write!
librarygeek: cute cartoon fox with nose in book (Default)
Poetry Fishbowl today! Have a glitch in the matrix? Does bibliotherapy help? Leave a prompt at this link and you can get EVERYONE more stories!

My prompts are:

1) Can we toss someone like Dylann Roof to Ambrose? He objects to psychology as a Jewish invention, and I think the Jewish psychologists I know each learned Silence from a Society of Friends member. I think it falls under fish out of water, the Man, troubled relationships, disruptions, and others along there... Redeem him or not, as you will, I just want him to SEE his flaws certainly.

2) the Minotaur in Army of One, more on how he sees his lair and the other misunderstood Lacuna, possibly could have some features instead of bugs. ;-)

3) Frankenstein's Family - the priest knows Victor's secret, and has enough humility that he chooses to serve God's children in love in all of their shapes. The priest HAS humility.

4) The Moon Door - the werecats are FOUND, but see the new werewolf pack as both glitches AND possibilities...

5) time travelers, somewhere unexpected. :-D

Ysabetwordsmith's them paragraph:

Today's theme is "a glitch in the matrix." I'll be soliciting ideas for computer programmers, artificial intelligence, time travelers, the misunderstood, fish out of water, outcasts, The Man, troubled relationships, expecting the unexpected, seeing things, fleeing in terror, resisting oppression, facing your demons, spotting patterns, debugging the system, computers, virtual reality, lairs, alleys, liminal zones, the system, government buildings, déjà vu, outliers, computer virus issues, bugs, no it's not a bug it's a feature, disruptions, expectations, unusual vulnerabilities, radical transformation, the inescapable, the indestructable, hubris, humility, humiliation, snags, and poetic forms in particular.

Or check it out on Dreamwidth here
librarygeek: cute cartoon fox with nose in book (Default)
I light my candle in memory of all who have passed away this past year.

I light my candle that hatred passes with the end of this year.

I light my candle and banish darkness, of the night and the heart.

I light my candle in hope that the Grinch finds a heart.

I light my candle praying that the children of Abraham can come together, that Ishmael and Isaac do NOT need the death of Abraham to come together to grieve.

I light my candle that all may be cared for and loved.

I light my candle with a wish that our leaders learn the love of peace, and the peace of love.

I light my candle in love, that Love is love is love is love is love is love is love.

I light my candles in love, to welcome the light!
librarygeek: cute cartoon fox with nose in book (Default)
HEY WORLD! You can make ME happy by prompting for new poetry here, or better yet tossing a few dollars into the Fishbowl. You know we need to light some candles right now.

If you don't have a Dreamwidth or LiveJournal account, you can still post. Tell her LibraryGeek sent you.

Theme of the month is "All the news is dark, so light a candle." I'll be soliciting ideas for journalists, reporters, radio hams, creatures of the night, demons, villains, heroes, angels, lovable monsters, the misunderstood, outcasts, nemeses, oppressors, troubled relationships, monster hunters, activists, torchbearers, leaders, explorers, lighting a candle, burning the candle at both ends, candlemaking, fleeing in terror, resisting oppression, facing your demons, passing the torch, instilling hope, tikkun olam, the dark, the chandlery, the Valley of the Shadow, newsrooms, garrets, liminal zones, mad science labs, The Tower, deep forests, other places of light and shadow, torches, candles, bioluminescence, glowing weapons, a ray of hope, the darkest hour is just before dawn, radical transformation, beeswax, Chanukkah, Diwali, Kwanzaa, the moon, cthonic symbolism, good, evil, radio, newspapers, magazines, and poetic forms in particular. But anything is welcome, really. If you manage to recommend a form that I don't recognize, I will probably pounce on it and ask you for its rules. I do have The New Book of Forms by Lewis Turco which covers most common and many obscure forms.
librarygeek: cute cartoon fox with nose in book (Default)
Do you hear the breaking glass?

Do you hear the jackboots marching?

Have you read of the children being bullied to tears for being different?

Have you watched the videos of disabled people being beaten up?

Would you really let me have the abortions for my failed miscarriages?

Would you really stand in front of those trying to take me away?

When they come for you, will there be anyone left to speak for you?

This is the 78th anniversary of Kristallnacht. It seems HORRIBLY fitting.
librarygeek: cute cartoon fox with nose in book (Default)
I am going to be posting more on my page on this because I need to BOTH write out somewhere all the mixed up feelings and write down the memories for the bride now pregnant widow and their child, my cousin's only child. :-(

I bought the plane tickets, my sister came with, we stayed at my cousin's stepmother's house, whom we were calling Aunt by the end of the 2 days. She's much more involved with her stepchildren than my dad's new wife, who barely lets us talk with him. No, my dad didn't make it to the funeral, claiming illness. If he was, at least staying home away from the pregnant woman was a relative kindness.

I have never lost a contemporary before, even though we had lost all our mutual grandparents, my mom his aunt, and his parents my aunt and uncle since the birth of my child. This sucks.

The timing before the Jewish High Holidays, made for a crisis of faith as well. How can I ask Deity to forgive any vows I cannot keep even when I have tried, when I am actually enraged at a Deity who could make my cousin forsworn to his vows to wife, and implicit promises to unborn child? I am NOT precisely angry now, after Yizkor, memorial service on Tom Kippur, but I couldn't bring myself to attend the services with the Kol Nidre, All Vows prayer for the first time since I was a small child. I don't know what I feel now, besides grief, and tired. So, I will be copying this over to my blog to remember to update.

I even did stay home on Halloween, thinking more Samhain suited me more this year. We watched Clue, a good geeky classic of a movie, and my cousin and I would play Clue together, our handicap against our younger siblings that WE couldn't use the notebook or take any notes. :-D

The sound of the dial-up modem making its handshake, computer games like Ultima and C'est La Vie, board games, and the crazy and kooky Halloween costumes he made, including last year a working lightbulb for Uncle Fester as his then fiancee went as Wednesday Addams, all are so tied in my head to him.

Let those memories lighten grief. (Darkover series, MZB)
librarygeek: cute cartoon fox with nose in book (Default)
Making this a post here so I can edit and add more as needed.

I attended the funeral of my first cousin, died suddenly, the night after his only child's baby shower, and with a thereby very pregnant wife being the one to find him and realize the CPAP machine sounded wrong. First cousin, twice over, by relationship and birth order, because he was born first and I next. His widow, at the funeral, when another relative was trying to introduce us because I hadn't made it to their wedding in March, burst out in tears with, "I know who you are, you're his twin cousin!" His wife spoke, one of his younger brothers spoke, and I spoke at the funeral.

I have never lost a contemporary before, and that sucked. Grandparents, Mom, aunt and uncle, have all died in just the mutual relations between J and I, but not someone only 15 months older than I.
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I prompted towards "The Day of Our Calamity". When this gets sponsored and posted, I have a poem from one of the Israeli soldiers about these events.

Sharing, more for "Tour Guides For All of Knowledge" please, here and on Facebook.
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First this morning, I get an email and find out a maternal British cousin we called Uncle had passed away last Tuesday, and it's already the last day of Shiva there. Many thanks to [personal profile] siliconshaman for helping me research what he could, and I didn't know British sources. We didn't even have his proper address! We kept in touch by email and visits when possible.

Second, my brother calls and my paternal first cousin, the one who taught me about BBSes and gaming, had passed away suddenly last night. We have already lost all grandparents, his parents our aunt and uncle, and my mother. He had just gotten married this year and his wife is expecting their son in 40 days.

I am a wreck, but making plans to get to his services.


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